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It's a Wonderful Life: Watch As Life Repeatedly Kicks George in the Balls

Merry Christmas, bitches!


What better way to celebrate the holiday than by indulging in a treacly piece of Capra-corn?  By this of course I mean It's a Wonderful Life, the Christmas movie starring James Stewart and Donna Reed.  It's equal parts depressing and uplifting, and it's a great holiday film...if you're willing to forgive it for inspiring a battalion of trite ripoffs on every TV show ever, from Married With Children to Buffy the Vampire Slayer to Beavis and Butthead.



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Sansho the Bailiff: Being a Slave Sucks

Switching things up a bit.  Today we're heading off to feudal Japan, for a heartwarming take of child slavery and prostitution.  That's right, kiddies: it's time for Sansho the Bailiff!


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Captain America: War Propaganda At Its Least Subtle

My boyfriend's dad rented Captain America the other night.  I was OK with this, mainly because Chris Evans is super attractive and I like WWII stuff.  Game on.

Walking around with a literal target on your back.

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Beastly: Beauty and the Whiny Entitled Guy

OK, I don't really have a good explanation for why I voluntarily viewed this film, except that I read the book when I was younger and it was OK in a crappy, guilty pleasure, only socially acceptable when you're a teenager kind of way.  And I was bored.  And it was free online.  Don't judge.


Ugh even the poster makes it look all kinds of terrible.

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Terminator 2: The Squeak-uel

I know I just watched The Terminator, but hey, Terminator 2 is on the Top 1000 list too, so it doesn't make sense for me to just move onto another random movie.  And this one has Edward Furlong in it.  In all his pre-lobster-rescuing glory.  That's enough for me!


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The Terminator: Hey John, Your Mom's a MILF! - Kyle

As surprising as it may seem, this is my first go around with the blockbuster juggernaut that is The Terminator.  It was kind of one of those film series that I'd always meant to watch but never got around to.  It makes our list at #264.  Here we go.


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Boogie Nights: The Best Fictional Biopic About Porn EVAH


Moving along to Boogie Nights, a 1997 ode to porn starring Mark Wahlberg's junk.  Is an impressive piece of prosthetic genitalia enough to earn Boogie Nights a position on our list at #536?  Yes, apparently so.  Does it deserve that spot?  I don't know, I haven't watched it yet.  I'll get back to you.



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The Black Cat: Karloff vs Lugosi Celebrity Deathmatch

The next film on the list is The Black Cat, a 1934 horror film starring Bela Lugosi and Boris Karloff.  I know what you're thinking.  A scary movie from the 30s that has Lugosi and Karloff in it?  Surely not!  Why, that's as rare a sight as the Loch Ness Monster herself.  But there's a reason these two creepers made eight horror movies together and have clocked in probably 500 solo horror movie appearances.  They're creepy guys.  So creepy, in fact, that The Black Cat earns a position at #969 on our list.


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Rushmore: Why I Don't Trust Prep School Kids

The next film on our list is the Wes Anderson comedy Rushmore, starring Jason Schwartzman and Bill Murray. Despite my suspicion and almost universal dislike of hipsters, I have to admit to liking both Wes Anderson and his films.  So there it is.


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Have I Actually Even Seen 1000 Movies?

Hey guys.  So while I was finishing up my 50th review, it made me think.  This is a list of the Top 1000 movies of all time.  I'm not even sure if I've even seen 1000 movies in my lifetime.  I mean, I probably have, but who knows?

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Happy 50th Review!

50 reviews down, 950 to go!


I better get going!

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Strike: Sticking It to the 1%

I return from my Thanksgiving vacation to watch the most American of films from the most American of filmmakers.  The next film on our list is Strike (or Stachka, for the commie bastard segment of my audience).  It's the first full length film of Sergei Eisenstein, a revolutionary Soviet filmmaker responsible for what we pretentious film historians refer to as the Soviet Montage.


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The Muppets: 8 Year Old Me Just Punched the Air

I just got home from watching The Muppets, starring Jason Segel, Amy Adams, and the Muppet gang.  My reaction?


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Spirited Away: Anime, Dragons, and Disturbingly Fat Babies

Our next movie is Spirited Away, a 2001 animated film from famed Japanese director Hayao Miyazaki.  It is the first anime film to win an Oscar, and it earns a spot at #439 on our list.


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Shane: The Mysterious Stranger in a Fringe-y Suede Jacket

My next review is on a film called Shane, which is a 1953 western starring Alan Ladd and Jean Arthur.  It's the story of a mysterious stranger who comes in and helps some folk stand up to the nasty cattle ranchers who are trying to take over their land.  It is placed at #266, something which makes me momentarily question the validity of this list.


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A Trip to the Moon: Where It All Begins

The next movie we're watching is A Trip to the Moon (or Le Voyage dans la lune, if you're of the French persuasion), a 1902 science fiction film by Georges Melies.  This is the oldest movie on our list by far, and it's sort of Point A in film history.  The old girl scores #465 on our list.


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The Manchurian Candidate: Cold War Paranoia 101

Next we'll be watching The Manchurian Candidate, a 1960s political thriller guaranteed to make you suspicious of anyone and everyone...particularly well-bred looking yuppie types with a vacant look in their eye.  It clocks in at #367 on our list.


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Sullivan's Travels: The Terrible Plight of the Rich and Famous

The next film we'll be watching is Sullivan's Travels, a 1941 comedy about a director who takes himself far too seriously and needs a good dose of reality.  I am unfazed, as this accurately describes every director I've ever worked with.  Regardless, it earns a position of #136 on our venerable list.

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American Graffiti: Can You OD on Nostalgia?

Moving on to our next movie, American Graffiti.  This 1973 coming of age film stars Ron Howard and Richard Dreyfuss, and comes in at #460 on the almighty list.


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Green Lantern: The Definition of Meh

No, it's OK, no one have a heart attack.  Green Lantern is not on the Top 1000 list, so we all don't need to weep for the future of filmmaking.  The boyfriend had me watch it this weekend and I thought What the hell, why not post my thoughts?  So without further ado:


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Top 30 Movies of My Childhood

This is something that's been floating around in my head for a while.  I love Top Whatever lists, and I've been wanting to do one on here.  These may not all be movies that came out while I was a kid, but they're certainly the films that dominated my VCR during my formative years.  Prepare yourselves for nostalgia overload.

So without further ado...

The Top 30 Movies of My Childhood

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Gunga Din: The Original Bromance

Onward to Gunga Din, a 1939 RKO adventure film starring Cary Grant and Douglas Fairbanks Jr, chronicling the triumph of British soldiers over Indian natives.  Yay!  It comes in at #718 on our list.


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Sugar Cane Alley: Sharecroppers Are Little Better than Slaves and Other Depressing Facts

The next movie on our list is Sugar Cane Alley, a 1983 French film about a young, poor boy growing up in Martinique, and his grandmother who is determined that he won't end up working in the sugar cane fields.  It's ranked at 797 on the Top 1000 list.


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The Big Parade: An Anti-War Film From Before It Was Cool to Make Anti-War Films

The next movie, which clocks in at #818 on our list, is a 1925 silent film starring John Gilbert as a spoiled rich boy who fights in World War I.  Being as familiar as I am with the Great War, I anticipate this being a barrel of laughs.  Just kidding.  It's probably going to be really depressing.  Cheers!


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The Piano: Unlikeable People Get Naked

Moving on to the next film on our list, this is Jane Campion's Oscar-winning film The Piano.  I have been told that this is an erotic film (to tell the truth, I was told that by Sally from Coupling) and I've also been made aware that Harvey Keitel is one of the two leads.  I am having a hard time reconciling these two facts.

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Remember, Remember: The Birth of Time Travel

As we all know, November 5th is a very important day in history.

No, not because of Guy Fawkes.  Please.  I thought the whole reason we fought the Revolutionary War was so that we officially no longer had to care about British Parliament?

Today is a special day in the history of science.  Specifically, time travel.  Because November 5th, 1955 is the day when this little baby was invented.


Which is, as we all know, what makes time travel possible.  So from time travelers everywhere, we want to thank Dr Emmett Brown for his many accomplishments.



Today, we salute you.


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Broken Blossoms: Some Casual Racism and a Little Light Murder

Come join me as I watch Broken Blossoms, one of DW Griffith's desperate attempts to prove to the world that he wasn't racist after 1915's Birth of a Nation (also on this list).


You just...keep working on that, buddy.  You'll get there someday.

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AI: Artificial Intelligence: Robots Have Feelings Too

The next movie we'll be watching is the flawed but underrated AI: Artificial Intelligence.  A Stanley Kubrick/Steven Spielberg collaboration, this film comes in at #732 on our list.


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The Apartment: Why Making Your Domicile a Brothel Is Not a Good Idea

The next film is the famous cautionary tale of not letting your boss use your apartment to shag loads of women, especially not if one of the women you happen to be in love with.  Although now that I've written all that out, it seems a lot less like a cautionary take and more like common sense.  Regardless, this is The Apartment, starring Jack Lemmon, and it clocks in at #58 on our list.


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KanaƂ: The Last Stand of the Warsaw Uprising

The next film on our list comes to us straight from 1957 Poland.  KanaƂ (thanks to Smileyman, I now have an "Ƃ") just manages a place on the list at #989.  This film details the Warsaw Uprising (not to be confused with the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising), a major operation that the Polish resistance Home Army launched to liberate Warsaw from the Nazis, only to be brutally suppressed.  I anticipate this film to be uplifting, and in no way depressing enough to make me want to throw myself out of a window.


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Halloween: Making Men Named Michael Myers Hate Their Lives Since 1978

Yes, I know, it's Halloween and I've reviewing Halloween, how cheap and obvious is that?  But hey, it is totally on the list, so I'm not going to miss out on the opportunity.

So there.


Halloween is a classic slasher film from 1978, starring Scream Queen Jamie Lee Curtis, which has earned a position at #291 on our list, and ruined many a teenage babysitter's night.

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Suspiria: (Black Swan + Hogwarts + Bright Colors) x Buckets of Blood

The 1000 Movie Journey is now in full on Halloween mode.  Let's get some decorations up in here!


Oh...that's not right...anyway, Suspiria!  


The next movie on our list, coming in at #435.  This is Dario Argento's vivid, totally off-putting foray into witchcraft and the world of dance.  Beautiful and frightening, this is a proper horror film.

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Listen to Britain: The Understated, Oh-So-Very-British Propaganda Film

And now for something completely different.  The next film on the list is Listen to Britain, a 1942 propaganda film (for those of you who failed your history exams, that's smack dab in the middle of World War II).  It clocks in at about 19 minutes, and manages to earn a position at #408.  Not too shabby.

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The Shining: Or Why I'm Never Going to a Hotel in the Mountains

The next film on our list is the popular horror classic, The Shining.  Released in 1980, this is Stanley Kubrick's screen adaptation of Stephen King's novel.  So you know it's going to be kind of f-ed up.  It comes in at an impressive #117.  I mean, come on, scary deserted hotels, horrible murders, and Jack Nicholson?  Sign me up!


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Young Mr Lincoln: The Wild Years

In this 1939 film, John Ford offers a rare glimpse of a young Abraham Lincoln cursing out his parents, making poor decisions, getting drunk and passing out in ditches...


Alright, alright, I may have exaggerated some of the sordid details.  But hey, that'd make a pretty awesome movie, yeah?


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This is Spinal Tap: Because We've Got Armadillos in Our Trousers

Hello!  I'm off my crazy work schedule, so you can expect me to be updating this far more frequently.  The next film on our list is This is Spinal Tap, a 1984 mockumentary, which is very nearly as often quoted as Monty Python.  Which is a lot.  Almost too much.  Really.  It comes in at a rock star worthy 357.



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Sitemap

This is the 1000 Movie Journey Sitemap.

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The Shop Around the Corner: The Awkward Precursor to Match.com

For The Shop Around the Corner, we journey to picturesque Budapest, Hungary with Jimmy Stewart and Margaret Sullavan (both of whom could not be more Hungarian).  Clocking in at #196, this 1940 romantic comedy is an Ernst Lubitsch classic.



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Holiday: The Triumphant Return

Good news.  I am not dead.  I have been, however, working a job that keeps me out of the house from 7:30 in the morning to 9:30 at night.  So finding time to continue watching the Top 1000 films (to say nothing of actually writing reviews) has been…let’s go with “problematic”.  After a not so brief hiatus, I decided that I definitely wanted to still do this.  Bear with me as I’m working the kinks out.  With no further ado, I present Holiday!  It's a lovely romantic comedy from 1938 starring Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn, and it earns a very respectable place at #616 on our list.




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The Princess Bride: Adventure, Sword Fights, True Love, and Fred Savage

The next film on our list has adventure, sword fights, true love, and Fred Savage.  I'm talking, of course, about The Princess Bride, the 1986 classic starring Cary Elwes and Robin Wright.  It scores a position at #694 on the TSPDT list.


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The Spirit of the Beehive: Frankenstein and Franco

After a brief hiatus (sorry all, went up to Massachusetts for a few days and just started a new job, so I've been a bit busy), we're back to business with the 1973 Spanish film The Spirit of the Beehive.  Considered by Spaniards (and most of the rest of the world) to be a classic, this film clocks in at #226 on the TSPDT list.


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Duck Soup: The Film of a Billion Puns

Onward to Duck Soup, the 1933 Marx Brothers classic.  It's the last Marx Brothers film to feature Zeppo, and scores a frankly shocking position at #104 on our list.

Great...because I needed those nightmares.


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La Jetee: Sci Fi in Still Frame

We're up to La Jetee today, the interesting short film from France that tells a science fiction story set in the future using only black and white photographs.  Directed by Chris Marker, this film came out in 1962, and has secured a place at #142 on the TSPDT list.


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The Thief of Bagdad: "Arabs" and Genies

The next film on our list is The Thief of Bagdad, a 1940 adventure fantasy based on the Arabian Nights stories.  This film won three Oscars (including one for special effects, le shock!) and earns a place at #306 on the TSPDT list.


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Meshes of the Afternoon:Experimental Creepiness

Moving on to Meshes of the Afternoon.  This quirky little experimental film was made by Maya Deren and Alexander Hammid (who also play the two characters) in 1943, to the tune of $275.  TSPDT put it at #312 on their list.


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Conrad Veidt?!


So Conrad Veidt.  He's an actor.  A German actor.  I know him from Casablanca as Major Strasser, the Nazi guy who gets punked by Humprey Bogart  Yeah.  This guy:


What I DID NOT realize is the Conrad Veidt is also Cesare.  From The Cabinet of Dr Caligari.  This guy:


I did not know this.  Did you know this?  Why didn't anyone tell me?  Because this officially made little bits of my brain fly out of my ears.  Please, someone tell me that they are as shocked as I am.  Because I'm watching him in The Thief of Bagdad right now, and I went to google to find a picture of him, and there were all these pictures from Dr Caligari.  And now my brain is dead.

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