After watching Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, I decided that it would be fun to go through all the Disney feature films in order. There's actually a bunch that I either haven't seen in a long time, or haven't seen period. Anyway, the film that came out after Snow White was Pinocchio, which also happens to be on the Top 1000 list. Two birds, one stone.
But the part where the little donkey who is still enough of a boy to be able to cry and beg for his mother...well, I think that's when the five year old version of myself yanked Pinocchio out of the VCR and cried herself to sleep.
Seriously, this has to be one of the darkest Disney movies ever.
So Pinocchio just narrowly avoids being turned into a donkey, and he and Jiminy set out for home again. Where they find a note from Geppetto, explaining that he has been eaten by a giant whale.
Wait a second. Hold all the phones you can find.
- I just read that the guy who played Geppetto often waxed poetic about the glories of Hitler on set. Guess what, guys? Magic gone.
- So...I don't remember Jiminy Cricket being such a hobo. I mean, he's about five seconds away from hopping a cargo train and eating some mulligan stew.
- I love Figaro. I appreciate that they just made him be a real cat instead of an anthropomorphic one...he's so adorably and I wish I had a cat like him!!
- Is the Blue Fairy any relation to the Green Fairy? Maybe she's the Blue Fairy's slutty, drug-addled little sister?
- Jiminy, you are the worst guardian cricket I've ever seen. While you're busy catching Z's, impressionable young Pinocchio is being led astray by unsavory theater folk!
- I'm confused. I was under the impression that this was taking place in, like, Italy. But Lampwick sounds like's he's straight out of turn of the century Brooklyn.
- Pinocchio, you're made of wood, you should not be smoking a cigar!!