The Docks of New York: Shotgun Marriages With Prostitutes Rarely Turn Out Well

Our next movies is a 1928 silent film called The Docks of New York, about a stoker who decides to marry a suicidal hooker on his one day of shore leave.  This should end well.

So this stoker is on his night off and he's walking over a bridge, when he sees this woman flailing around in the water.  He goes in and rescues her, and he is immediately smitten.

Even though he's only in town for one night and she's a little unstable, they decide to get married because what could possibly go wrong there?

So they're married, he walks up in the morning, leaves some money on the nightstand, and peaces out.  WHAT???

Seriously??  Who does that??  OK, dude.  "Having a good time" can mean going to a whorehouse and getting drunk.  It does not mean marrying one of the prostitutes when you have every intention of leaving her in the morning.  What a douche.

Speaking of douches, is anyone else a little more interested in this subplot with the miserable, bitter woman and her good for nothing husband.  Who she finally shoots.  Which the main girl gets blamed for.  I mean, what happened there?  I almost wish that this movie was from their point of view.

The stoker vouches for her, and then the bitter woman takes responsibility for the shooting, so they're out of the danger zone.  But as soon as our girl isn't about to go to jail anymore, the stoker leaves again.  Bye.  Want to stop toying with her emotions?

And then...after getting on the ship, he suddenly realizes that he's made a terrible mistake and goes back to her.  They will be together forever...after he does his 60 days in jail for stealing clothes from a pawn shop.  What a beautiful start to a marriage.  I would pay money to see these two six months after the movie ends.

I don't know how I feel about this movie.  The cinematography is amazing, and a lot of it feels sort of like a film noir to me.  It's got that gloomy tone and gritty subject matter.  So that's kind of cool.  I guess at the end of the day I'm just not that interested in the story.  The main characters both kind of annoy me, and I really don't care if they stay married or join a circus or whatever.

Random Musings:

  • Why would you get so many tattoos of naked girls and put their names on it?  No girl wants to be with a guy who has porn of his conquests tattooed on his body.

  • "I'll try anything once!" Worst. marriage proposal. ever.

  • Are they seriously getting married in a brothel?  This is the worst marriage ceremony I've ever seen in my life.  And I've been to some humdingers.

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